HOW TO BUILD A WEB PAGE IN 25 STEPS


(From the "How to Set the Clock on Your VCR" Series)




  1. Download a piece of Web authoring software 20 minutes.

  2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page 6 weeks.

  3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it 20 minutes.

  4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site 1 minute.

  5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like 4 days.

  6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again 25 minutes.

  7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do 15 minutes.

  8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there 4 hours.

  9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software 1 minute.

  10. Try to horizontally line up two related images 6 hours.

  11. Remove one of the images 10 seconds.

  12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone 4 hours.

  13. Download a counter from your ISP 4 minutes.

  14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -16.3E10" 3 hours.

  15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text 8 hours.

  16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP 40 minutes.

  17. Accidentally delete your complete web page 1 second.

  18. Recreate your web page 2 days.

  19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server 3 weeks.

  20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP 30 minutes.

  21. Download FTP software 10 minutes.

  22. Call your friend again 15 minutes.

  23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server 10 minutes.

  24. Connect to your site on the web 1 minute.

  25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps eternity.



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