HOW TO BUILD A WEB PAGE IN 25 STEPS


(From the "How to Set the Clock on Your VCR" Series)




  1. Download a piece of Web authoring software — 20 minutes.

  2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page — 6 weeks.

  3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it — 20 minutes.

  4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site — 1 minute.

  5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like — 4 days.

  6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again — 25 minutes.

  7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do — 15 minutes.

  8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there — 4 hours.

  9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software — 1 minute.

  10. Try to horizontally line up two related images — 6 hours.

  11. Remove one of the images — 10 seconds.

  12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone — 4 hours.

  13. Download a counter from your ISP — 4 minutes.

  14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -16.3E10" — 3 hours.

  15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text — 8 hours.

  16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP — 40 minutes.

  17. Accidentally delete your complete web page — 1 second.

  18. Recreate your web page — 2 days.

  19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server — 3 weeks.

  20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP — 30 minutes.

  21. Download FTP software — 10 minutes.

  22. Call your friend again — 15 minutes.

  23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server — 10 minutes.

  24. Connect to your site on the web — 1 minute.

  25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps — eternity.



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