HOW TO BUILD A WEB PAGE IN 25 STEPS
(From the "How to Set the Clock on Your VCR" Series)
- Download a piece of Web authoring software — 20 minutes.
- Think about what you want to write on your Web page — 6 weeks.
- Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it — 20 minutes.
- Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site — 1 minute.
- Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like — 4 days.
- Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again — 25 minutes.
- Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do — 15 minutes.
- View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there — 4 hours.
- Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software — 1 minute.
- Try to horizontally line up two related images — 6 hours.
- Remove one of the images — 10 seconds.
- Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone — 4 hours.
- Download a counter from your ISP — 4 minutes.
- Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -16.3E10" — 3 hours.
- Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text — 8 hours.
- Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP — 40 minutes.
- Accidentally delete your complete web page — 1 second.
- Recreate your web page — 2 days.
- Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server — 3 weeks.
- Call a patient friend to find out about FTP — 30 minutes.
- Download FTP software — 10 minutes.
- Call your friend again — 15 minutes.
- Upload your web page to your ISP's server — 10 minutes.
- Connect to your site on the web — 1 minute.
- Repeat any and all of the previous steps — eternity.